Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

Why They Don’t Do Behind the Music for Books

“Everything seemed to be going right. He was on top of the world.”

[Shot of writer on couch typing on laptop]

“But the pressure was mounting. His contract stated that he had to deliver a new book, even while he was still touring to promote the last one.”

[Shot of writer on couch typing on laptop]

“Something had to give.”

[Shot of writer on couch typing on laptop. Key grip’s hand in corner of frame, nudging beer toward writer.]

WRITER (annoyed): Jesus, what are you doing? It’s like 11 in the morning.

PRODUCER (out of shot): Oh forget it. Just make it look like he drank it.

Noises off.

“All day binges. Trashed hotel rooms.”

Camera goes all unsteady, starts dropping frames.

WRITER (looks up from typing): Jesus Christ, I folded those!

Shot is put through blue filter so everything looks freaky.

“He was losing his grip on reality.”

WRITER (punches back of couch): Fucking Twitter is down again.

PRODUCER (out of shot): Good. I like the anger.

WRITER: Hey, am I allowed to use the mini-bar?

“Coming up next: the greatest mind of his generation drinks a flavored espresso beverage … and gets a tummy ache.”

And scene. I want you to know I put a lot of thought into formatting that.

You might think going on tour would mean I spent less time on “social media.” How wrong you would be. Now that I’m traveling, zithromax no prescription canada away from my loved ones, social media are now my only friends.

Come here. Gimme a hug. That’s right. That’s the stuff.

But I should be working. I really do have to (and also want to) finish another book. And when I’m not working I should be going to meetings and doing interviews. So three quick links to things I wrote/did, then back to work:

“The Lost Finale Reviewed by Someone Who Has Never Seen Lost Before.” We went high concept with this one. Too high? Not high enough?

“Some Thoughts about Recommendation Engines.” This was about twice as long before I chopped it down for the magazine. Just assume that the stuff I left out was much cleverer.

— This is a video of me walking around a Borders talking about books I love. I actually like how it came out, though I seem to pause at random moments while I’m talking like I’m having some internal buffering problem. Maybe if enough people click on it they’ll give me the “money spot” in place of Chuck Klosterman.

Oh, and if you’re in L.A., come see me tonight at the Borders in Century City.

And if you’re in S.F., come see me tomorrow night.

And if you’re in New York, come on Thursday night.

6 comments on “Why They Don’t Do Behind the Music for Books

  1. M says:

    wow mr. writer, fancy, drinking illy

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