Posts Tagged ‘it’s true I really did drink one of those’

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

Why They Don’t Do Behind the Music for Books

“Everything seemed to be going right. He was on top of the world.”

[Shot of writer on couch typing on laptop]

“But the pressure was mounting. His contract stated that he had to deliver a new book, even while he was still touring to promote the last one.”

[Shot of writer on couch typing on laptop]

“Something had to give.”

[Shot of writer on couch typing on laptop. Key grip’s hand in corner of frame, nudging beer toward writer.]

WRITER (annoyed): Jesus, what are you doing? It’s like 11 in the morning.

PRODUCER (out of shot): Oh forget it. Just make it look like he drank it.

Noises off.

“All day binges. Trashed hotel rooms.”

Camera goes all unsteady, starts dropping frames.

WRITER (looks up from typing): Jesus Christ, I folded those!

Shot is put through blue filter so everything looks freaky.

“He was losing his grip on reality.”

WRITER (punches back of couch): Fucking Twitter is down again.

PRODUCER (out of shot): Good. I like the anger.

WRITER: Hey, am I allowed to use the mini-bar?

“Coming up next: the greatest mind of his generation drinks a flavored espresso beverage … and gets a tummy ache.”

And scene. I want you to know I put a lot of thought into formatting that.

You might think going on tour would mean I spent less time on “social media.” How wrong you would be. Now that I’m traveling, zithromax no prescription canada away from my loved ones, social media are now my only friends.

Come here. Gimme a hug. That’s right. That’s the stuff.